Quaresmal Tolkien #31

Como hoje é sexta, dei-me a liberdade de escrachar um pouco, mas sem perder o foco que é apresentar uma música sob o tema do quaresmal. Aproveitando também para trazer um elemento polêmico entre os fãs.

Tauriel, é uma personagem duplamente fictícia – se é que isso pode existir, – uma vez que ela não fazia parte da história original d'O Hobbit ou sequer estivesse em canto algum dos textos de Tolkien, rendeu a Peter Jackson comentários acalorados dos fãs, sem mencionar a opinião de Christopher Tolkien, por essa e outras escolhas minimamente contestáveis de adaptação para o cinema.

the esgaroth three

The Esgaroth Three, é um grupo de comédia da Nova Zelândia que sob a direção do ator, comediante e músico Christopher Winchester já lançaram dois vídeos musicais inspirados nos trabalhos de Tolkien e Peter Jackson. O vídeo apresentado aqui, com a música Who The 'Ell Is Tauriel?, de 2013, proporcionou-lhes os comentários: "Drolly trollish" pela BBC America, "Brilliant... hilarious" pela revista SciFiNow e  "Delightfully nerdy" pela TheOneRing.net.

Letra:

Who The 'Ell Is Tauriel?

Who the bloody 'ell
is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard of her before.
I've prided myself
on knowing each and every elf,
but suddenly it seems there's one more.

She ran out of the wood,
oh so magical and Mirksome;
it really is no good,
in fact it's rather irksome.

Who the bloody 'ell
is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard of her before.

Who the bloody 'ell
is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard of her before.

Hold on, what the arse?
That looks like Legolas;
I'm pretty sure he's in the wrong book.
He should be in that thing,
the one about the ring;
Bear with me, I'll go take another look...

Some clever clogs just claimed
he's in this one as well, but isn't named,
but as excuses go that's poor.

And who the bloody 'ell
is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard of her before.

There and back again,
without an 'andkerchief...
Orcs and spiders, elves and men,
hills with dragons underneath...

Some fella on a sled
with birdshit on his head
just CPR'd an 'edge'og. I'm confused.
OK, let's cut the crap,
he is a wizard chap,
but wasn't he invented, then not used?

He's racing orcs on wargs, and frankly getting in the way.
I really wish someone'd shoot his bloody hares,
and crash his bloody sleigh.
We've got a wizard. Do we really need one more?
And who the 'ell is Tauriel?
Not heard of her before.

They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...
They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...
They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...
They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...

Ooh, Laketown, very nice,
all fish, and snow and ice...
but all this talk of treasure takes an age.
And Gondolin forbid,
Bard's got a mouthy kid.
I'm sure that this is more than just one page...

He's nailed the author's vision of the lake town's oily boss,
but who's that bloody sidekick, Alfrid? Now I'm getting cross.
He looks a bit like Grima Wormtongue, but I'm not quite sure.
And who the 'ell is Tauriel?
Not heard of her before.

Who the bloody 'ell
is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard of her before.

How come Gandalf the Grey
has lots of plot to play,
when by the book I thought he'd disappear?
The Necromancer's back;
he's crept in through a crack
from one of the Appendices, I fear.
I'm disappointed with the wargs
because they never talk,
and oh, don't get me started on that bloody great white orc...

You've given him a trilogy.
Don't give him any more!!!

And who the bloody 'ell is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard
of her before.

They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...
They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...
They're taking the Hobbit to Erebor...
(without an 'andkerchief...)
(Orcs and spiders, elves and men,)
(hills with dragons underneath...)

Who the bloody 'ell is Tauriel?
I don't believe I've heard
of her before.

--

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